How embarrassing that I took the time to think of such things, but I have decided that if my kids had superhero names, they would be as follows:
Mikey "the Negotiator"
-"I make arguing and sleep deprivation an art form."
|"Let's talk about Star Wars."|
"Charlie doesn't want to play with that train, he wants me to, and he just wants to watch me play."
"I just want a strawberry and coconut milk milkshake for breakfast, right now, okay?"
"How about I just don't take a nap and go to bed at 6?"
At 8pm, "But let's just wait for Daddy to get home together, and I just love you and don't want to go to sleep".
In bed, "Can you just rub my back for a while and sleep in here."
"Take me to a parade right now."
"I don't really like you today, so can you just take me to Nona's?" (His grandmother's house).
Charlie, "The Destroyer"
-"Disobedience never looked so good, or spoke so little."
|"The New Face of Naughty"|
|"Let me feed myself, always a good choice without any repercussions"|
Charlie: "You didn't like that coffee table did you, Mom?"
"oh, I see you got a new chair, shall I just pee on it then?"
"Sorry, I just ate that candle off the wall."
Morning nap attempt just ended with me greasing down both of his portly ankles with Berts Bees Baby Lotion and prying his tightly wedged legs back thru the crib bars he so carefully stuck himself into. At $10 dollars a bottle, he smells like heaven and it worked like a charm.
Although I vowed never to cut it, his hair was getting a little out of control, so I broke down and snipped away yesterday ... The time has come for you to become a man, Son.
|"I'm a free and sloppy spirit, Mom."|
|"Please photograph me right now."|
Charlotte "the Snuggler"
|"Put me down, I dare you."|
"Why sleep when you can look at me all night?"
"Am I interrupting your movie date with Daddy? I'm not sorry, and neither are you."
"Pet my face like at kitty while I fall asleep in the middle of your bed."
No embellishments, just the cold hard truth of baby raising and toddler wrangling. Enjoy your weekend, you know I will. :)